


Dear Doug

by Thebiwife



Series: Love & Loss [10]
Category: ER (TV 1994)
Genre: Epistolary, F/M, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28180980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thebiwife/pseuds/Thebiwife
Summary: An imagining of what the Fax Carol sends to Doug could (should?) have said.Spoilers for seasons 5&6.
Relationships: Carol Hathaway/Doug Ross
Series: Love & Loss [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033827
Kudos: 9





	Dear Doug

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the delay in publishing, it has been a tough week for all three of us (in different ways), the impact of COVID-19 this week has been particularly tough on us, in ways and feelings not completely foreign to this series. 
> 
> thanks again for your patience.

_Dear Doug,_  
  


_I don’t know what you’re expecting this fax to say. Part of me doesn’t even know why I’m bothering to write it._

_After a series of incidents where you involve me just enough that I get screwed over too, without quite telling me the full truth? I feel like I was crazy to ever trust you._

_Before you left, you said you’ve probably lost your best friend, and let’s be honest, Mark probably never will feel the same about you or your friendship, the same way that I’ll never feel the same about you or our relationship._

_I told Mark I couldn’t remember a time I didn’t love you; when I was with Tag, or Shep, I was really just distracting myself from you. From being drawn to you like ~~the river to the ocean~~ bees to honey. But then I can’t forget those words, ‘ _There’s nothing for me here…’

I’m here, Doug.

_And I’m pregnant._

_This is your chance, Doug. This is your last chance to show if you care about anyone but yourself. But don’t take it just because I don’t expect you to.  
  
_

_Carol_

* * *

I didn't expect him to, but that doesn't mean I don't want him to.

**Author's Note:**

> Although this is only short, this has been the hardest chapter for me to write so far, primarily because I'm not a Hathaross shipper (and have never claimed to be...) reason being I struggle to reconcile the way Doug was written out (his choice to leave) and Carol's choice to ultimately return to him (coinciding with a tough week's impact on my writing in general).


End file.
